Susan,
I am a man who spends my spirit to write. I always thought that I can continue to write forever. Lately, I found that it gets harder to bring words to the surface.
I have achieved my lifetime goal. Now is to stay relevant, to be able to live as a healthy and happy man. That I cannot do. The Sacred wants me to smoke. Health is no longer a driving factor. I am destined to be a smoker. That is the writing on the wall.
There is a gap between who I am and who I want to be. I want to be an athlete but who I am is a chain smoker. That is the choice of the Sacred.
How do I break away from this loop? If I am confident of a great afterlife, I should carry on smoking. However I am now overweight. Can I lose those weight while I am still a smoker.
I want a fresh perspective as a smoker. No more health talk and nags about the danger of smoking. I love smoking and I want to continue smoking.
mm
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